Made-up Word of the Day

Monodrone

Not quite sure I could define it for you, but as soon as I heard it I knew exactly what it meant. I'll give you an analogy:

Monotone is to monodrone as staccato is to legato.

Pretty sure that won't help anyone that doesn't know music, but it's the best I could come up with. Please enjoy the made-up word of the day responsibly.

List of Weirdnesses

Because this is a "shadowy" blog, I am going to share some things that no one knows about me. When it comes down to it, you don't know who I am, so my secrets are safe. I will feel much better. You, however, may be disturbed.

• I like run-on sentences. They agree quite well with my thought patterns. Damn grammar rules!
• Despite my impeccable spelling skills, I will always misspell the word til. It just looks prettier that way. Plus, if you take the un off of until you get til not till, duh.
• I do not like starting sentences with "I" when I write. Most of the time this is not a hard thing to accomplish. Sometimes, however, I am either too lazy or too uncreative to think of another way. Obviously, I am feeling lazy today.
• I only like chocolate when I am PMSing.
• I have a favorite bathroom stall at work.
• I am OCD about form. When scraping the butter off a dish or the Noxema out of it's tub, I have a certain pattern that I follow, without fail, so that the top will be even or at least symmetrical.
• I prefer "sports top" water bottles to the regular ones because I can squeeze the water into my mouth, thereby forcing myself to consume the recommended amount of water everyday.
• I cannot fall asleep listening to music (with or without lyrics) because I pay attention to the song and can't shut my mind off.
• I cannot wake up listening to music. It just provides a soundtrack to my dream.
• I make up words to suit my fancy (ie; weirdnesses), and I always spell them correctly.
• I chew my cuticles, but think biting one's nails is gross.
• I will eat anything if you put sour cream on it first...or fry it...or both.
• I can fall asleep anywhere...even on airplanes.
• I prefer the electric version of "Layla".
• I enjoy looking at myself in the mirror. In fact, I seek out opportunities to spend time admiring myself.
• I collect mirrors.

This list will be updated from time to time, as I discover new weirdnesses that have yet to be exposed.

Rest In Peace, Metal Clippies

Is it sad that I almost cried real tears when my last metal clippie died last week?

In college, I made the most important purchase of my life: two rust-colored, metal clippies. You see, my hair reaches almost to my waist and is as thick as it is long. To my hair, plastic clippies were playthings. They would snap out of my hair in pieces, like an errant toe nail after clippage. The same went for hair sticks, they shattered in my hair leaving splinters to pick out. My hair, however beautiful, was always in my way, until one fortunate day at Claire's.

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There I was, in the hair accessory section...again. I was something of a regular, since the hair that would not be tamed had broken yet another set of plastic clippies. Near the ceiling, in the top row, I spotted 2 clippies that looked the same color as my hair. It only took a couple of jumps to get them into my greedy little fingers. But what was this? These weren't plastic, they were metal. Score! Me and my metal clippies left the store and lived happily ever after...until last week.

After seven years of wedded bliss (Seven years, people! I don't even have shoes that have been with me that long!) and during a routine hair clipping session in my bedroom, the spring action on my clippie, sprung it's last. This was the last surviving clippie, my other one bit the dust a few weeks earlier. I was ignoring her death in the hopes of a miraculous revival.

I tried my best to keep a stiff upper lip, as I made the long trip to Claire's. Guess what? Metal clippies are no longer made. Turns out Claire figured out how much money she lost out on because of me and my metal clippies. Stupid bitch. As I am deciding whether or not to waste the money on the plastic clippies, I start to hear my follicles gearing up for the party they are going to throw in honor of their new found freedom. How can I go back to the plastic clippies? It would smudge the memory of the metal clippie, and that, I cannot do.

So unruly hair flowing in the wind, I head for home.

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Until I find evidence that the extinct metal clippies are no longer extinct, I will have to find another way to restrain my superpower hair. So far the only implement that has measured up is a PaperMate pen...I am so screwed.

A Tale of Two Tones

In starting this blog, my main goal was to have a place where I could air private feelings without hurting the people involved. To that end, this blog is fast becoming a dark place. The "real me" blog has a much lighter tone, and is often comedic. I feel as if I am creating two different personalities, but the truth is both blogs are completely true of me. Lying and presenting yourself falsely are two of my biggest annoyances.

My new mission statement is to work through the issues I am having with people and circumstances in my life, and find a way to join the two tones. As much as I despise the bleeding heart for her weakness, I relish her tenderness. In the same light, I love the ballsiness of the tough girl, and hate her impenetrable nature. I will begin to combine the best of both girls into a healthy, happy, ballsy, tender, well-adjusted young woman. Twenty-six is still young, dammit!

Of Houses and Hearts

"...just as the builder of a house has greater honor than the house itself." -Hebrews 3:3

If you are the builder and I am the house, what kind of house did you build?

In my imagination, I am a Bed & Breakfast on an old Southern plantation with lots of rooms, where people come and stay as long as they need too. A house where they eat their fill of good food and have time for themselves and each other and you. A place with a large yard and garden to walk in and lots of quiet places to be. Near an enchanted forest with a trail that leads to the ocean. The view from the front porch is of the mountains and the trees in all their fall color. Spanish moss hangs in the trees that line the drive. I sit in a rocking chair on that porch an watch for whoever will come up that drive. All are welcome, but they have to come. That's my idea, but I bet yours is better.

So tell me, God, what did you build? What am I for?

Not Funny

Not feeling very funny today. I like being funny. I like being able to laugh at stressful situations in my life, helps me deal. By default, I do not like today. So let's make a list of all the things I cannot laugh at today, shall we?

• Completely Unbalanced roommate: To be clear, I have 2 roommates. One of them is Absolutely Fabulous and I would move in all over again, even knowing CU was gonna flip her lid, just to know AF.
• Friends flirting with my ex: That is just shitty. This guy, we'll call him Recent Ex, really dicked me over. And by that I mean, RX wrecked my car with me in it after attempting a u-turn from the right hand lane without even checking his blind spot and smacked into an SUV with four girls in it. What? Who does that? And why would my friends be flirting with him in front of me? It's not like they don't know what happened between us. Is it too much to ask that they hate him forever? I didn't think so either. As a result of the accident my insurance dropped me, and now I pay an ASTRONOMICAL amount to sit in the traffic of this Big City with none of the promised help from RX. Which brings me to my next item on the list...
• Moving back in with my parents: To say this experience is humbling would be the understatement of the century. Because of the accident I am now officially in over my head, and am tired of always worrying about money. In a couple of months I will be heading back to Small Town, America to work my way back into the black. I don't plan on being there forever, only til I am back on my feet. Then I'll be moving to a New Big City in America.

Since that list is completely negative and bitter, I think I need to make a new list to balance it out. Reasons I have to laugh today:

• My Best Guy Friend: BGF emailed me today and asked me to lunch. BGF always helps me find the funny when I've misplaced it. Lunch was great, and not just cause we were drinking in the middle of the workday. He is truly a treasure. I will miss him mucho when I leave for Small Town.

Ok, that's it for the positive list. But you know what? That's enough to balance out all three. Never underestimate the power of good friends. *happy tear, sniff*

Synonymous with Anonymous...

nameless
undistinguished
secret
unidentified
mysterious
unknown
shadowy

Shadowy? Really? Eh, that's what the thesaurus said, and the thesaurus has to be right...right?

I am sure you have guessed by now that "Sugar" is not my real name. It's the nickname that I always wanted a boyfriend to give me. You know, "Hey Sugar, what's goin' on?" or "You look great, Sug!", so much more creative than "Baby" or "Babe". Although I've been known to use both. No one knows me by the name "Sugar" or even my secret desire to be dubbed with that moniker, so I thought it would be a good name to use with a shadowy blog. That's right, for as long as I can manage, this blog will be devoid of specific details linking "Sugar" to the real me. Knowing the real me as well as I do, I am sure to slip up from time to time. Like now.

Just so you can get an idea for my perspective, I will give you the following details:

• I am female
• I am in my twenties
• I am single
• I live in a big city in America

Welcome to my blog.